I'm reaaaaaally beginning to dislike staying at home in the same room with the two other 'people' being all teh and cutesy with each other with its so immoral!! Sigh. They're moving soon and I CAN'T WAIT!

Well Saturday night I'm going with Xav to that restaurant of Dehua's school, Charcoal. But he hasnt replied me since yesterday! I hope he's not gonna pang seh me. haha! Nah, he won't :)

I'm still hung up on that wedding. Why, why, oh, why, do girls get this longing feeling for meeting the right guy and getting married . . . . And why are majority of the guys so afraid of commitment -.- a little mismatch there. And there are more girls than guys in the world.

I asked Chris to marry me that night lol. He was in camp (had duty) and was doing other stuff while talking to me. Specifically after I 'proposed' to him, he said 'shit!'. But no, I wasnt rejected. He made a mistake at whatever he was doing. I still felt dejected though.

Michael's new house is 'up'. Saw those pictures, really nice. His room's small though. haha. I want to see Ken's Japan-themed room. So I'm going to his place tomorrow night for cell. Get to see them and get to see the house too. I hope I can stay longer after that.

Kind of beginning to talk to God at night. Mainly its because I cant sleep. Terrible insomnia. -yawnz. Slept at 5am last night. Got two rather beautiful eye bags. But anyway. Started to think think think. Wondered how I drifted form church, from the cell group, from God. Thought back on what really happened. And yeah, I'm ashamed to admit that I got a little emo last night.

Recently read Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris again. Its the 'sequel', so called, of the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. And wow, his relationship really spooked me. I got kinda scared. Before he even told the girl he liked her, he sought permission from her dad first. And before he proposed, they asked 5 different couples if they are ready for marriage.

I doubt I can do all those things . . . I'm really afraid of commitment for these kind of things. And I'm getting the feeling that ... there's someone else out there. That's when I stopped talking to God and got up to do other things. But the same question's been in my head ever since.

What if Chris isn't the one God planned out for me? Am I strong enough to do what God wants, when I've been away from Him so long?

I seriously hope things don't change. I doubt I can handle it.